I wish the best for you. Eventually I left some of his belongings in front of his house, texted him I did that and his response was I did a crappy job hope we can be friends Im working on myself supposedly he cant connect or some other dumb excuse. Its not just, I met the greatest person and Im so sad they werent into me. Let emotion take a back seat, enjoy your life, take into consideration that you are still a catch, that you too have power (not just the person who decided to leave) and you should weigh up LOGISTICALLY whether they were actually, indeed, right for you. Time to wake up and move on, however hard it is. That helps nothing. No response either. Ever. I met a guy online. He got back to me and told me that he loved me and always will, but he had reconciled with his wife, and she was now pregnant. You should only feel sorry for them cause they really are sad and lonely inside and their theatrics is really a weak cry for Help!!!! Last year I dated 4 guys. All women need to confront the men that play this game to let them know that we will not accept this behavior as part of our dating culture. I did stop and never called him though. He got me from a bar once, but he was safe at his oen house he could have waited. In the meantime, distract yourself with other things you enjoy. I've been dating a guy once a week for about three weeks. That night was the last time I seen him in almost 4 months. I feel bad writing such positive things about me. I finally understood why he disappeared. In the middle of that week I asked for his exam( we had troubles to meet that friday because he was busy with that exam). You approach life from what ought to be according to your perspectives, not what it IS. From text msgs to phone calls that last hours and hours. It would be a freaking novel, and I cant deal with it. He is a total deadbeat dickhead if he asks for money. So no matter how many guys you have knocking at your door, shift your mindset to one on love abundance, knowing that there is plenty of love out there in the world for you, including love from the man who is your soulmate! I replied with my regards and then asked how he wasNOTHIN back like why even message me in the first place. He writes back apologizing, saying Im awesome but he cant do this anymore and he is not ready to offer anything. Why would you be on a dating sure if you arent ready?? Not read and ignored. So no contact after a breakup does two things 1) helps us get over the person IF indeed the relationship is over and 2) also makes the person miss you by your absence, Shannon, so needed to hear what you had to say. I took a week or so to think about it because I was not sure about the distance thing given hes consistently on the road. I am so sorry;(. In this case, you can text him something like this. I hate the fading act awfull! Hes just a player whose only goal in life is to have as many women as possible. I asked what he thought we should do to slow down to which he said nothing, as it felt natural. Or once you tell them you like them. He had been acting flakely all week so I told him that it was over, and that I couldnt handle it. For me, it was what I wanted. I want to know how hes doing! You are an empty shell of a man. When his coworker/friend mentioned me all I got from his coworker was he says he remembers you and thats it. it probably means he has zero tolerance for even the mildest sort of confrontation and simply doesnt relate well to other grown ups when communication is key, ie awkward/emergency/emotional situations. He was sick for years. Also, he suffers from ocd, so I wonder what role that played in all of it. I even bought some lil Spent a couple months having some great times. And now he has just disappeared in thin air. The only reason why I do that is because I feel comfortable with him. Give him space and if he doesnt talk to you then Eff him and move on. But he was making plans to go for a trip the other weekend (But never mentioned that we are gonna celebrate my birthday). It was the best decision that I made in this situation. He asked me right from the start if we could be exclusive with one another. All of a sudden you just stop calling and texting the person. 1. Thats the rub and why its so painful and unfortunate. The Pyramid of Love illustrates a six-step process I teach as your dating coach in Love U. I think if more people realized that LOVE absolutely-must-come-first before ANY ideas about marriage or the rest of your life, people would be a lot happier. Dont let people tell you that you are perfect and dont need to change. Right? about an hour went by and I call him he did not pick up at emailed him he didnt respond so what then I went to Facebook to message him at that point I realized that he had unfriended me. Crickets then two days later just sent one more say guess you were. Simply having a man around who is loyal and considerate might be enough for you- but those two qualities are shared by thousands and thousands of interchangeable men, and putting them on a pedestal for it wont make them feel special- just generic. At least you can stop wasting your time on him. This allows him to come back whenever he wants as he never officially ended things with you. And he knows I need honesty. I know i was happy with what he sent me. You dont say how old you are, but my guess is you are fairly young. He said I didnt do anything wrong he just had a bad day. Show him youre living a full life, and youve got other options! Was that a one time deal, or was that something we could do more often. Did he miss my ego boosting? I feel like Im a likeable person. Christina, Thing is, everyone talking on this forum about being ghosted has probably done it themselves to others whether you realise it or not!!! Its also about YOU and who is right for you. I went numb when he said yes. Time for an upgrade! sometimes the wrong relationship ends with a fireball. I left on a positive note and we didnt argue . I am in your situation but sort of from the opposite side & want to shed light into what may be happening. Im experiencing that kind of scenario at the moment. I can leave many messages telling how hurt I am, what I feel and need and why and there will be no reply until hes ready. Its forced its awkward and just weird. And realize this also I am not looking for an instant relationship either. I thought this guy was different. I enjoyed the best of texting with a BF where his thoughtful texts brought smiles to my face and the worst where weve ended what we had through texting because it was so conveniently instant. Hes just not that into you hunny. I was very calm about it , which is better because they expect the opposite. Theres only one you anywhere, so its worth it to meet people you really click with! This type of response is going to go a looooooong way for you because heres the thing hell either get defensive and bounce (in which case good riddance!) I dont know what his reaction was to my email, maybe he was just sick of me and didnt want to see any emails. Many women on here had real relationships. And hes always stated thats a trate he loves in me. The baffling thing to me is that hes still keeping me as a FB friend. In his city in a couple Is it the holidays or what? i finally broke down and told him that the no contact was unacceptable and didnt make any sense to me. When I came back it was my birthday and he said he is busy that weekend and cant meet. Feel free to ask me questions if you want. im not sure if she even realizes but we are talking less. Show him the door to your life and let him go. It IS lonely at the top. 2. During our friendship I knew he had a crush on me but never pursued it for fear of having to meet him in person, so when he started talking/dating a friend of mine I backed off and ended contact with him. Because here is the absolute truth: we teach others how to treat us by the treatment were willing to accept. But he thinks Im a cool girl and wants to be friends. We have trained women to be selfish in conversation then act shocked when they are (i talked to her for two hours on the phone and she didnt ask me a single question!). 1. He is 57 and I am 51; this isnt some lovestruck teenybopper relationship and one would think that at our age, we would know better to play games like ghosting. Do not listen to what he says or write listen to his actions instead and listen to what your gut feeling is telling you. I was just separated and coming from a hard marriage. For me, a closure is crucial. Most of the questioning was done with best friend and I never let him know how I felt because I was trying to give it a chance because sometimes good things come to people who are patient and he claimed to be moving to my city within 6 months to take a more permanent job. This guy, being from the same And one of my guy friends did it. Anybody know guys that do that?? They are not that into you if they do the fade contacting you. Hes that friendly Canadian and Im just a shy Asian girl. I deleted his number and ended things in my mind. But this story seems to me an opportunity to share one of the deep frustrations that men have with dating (for some of us its subconscious, but its definitely there), and that is that often we feel more like the object of our partners nurture programming than actually the object of someones affection. The joke is on him, so whoever hes talking to now can have him and his drama. Of course I was incredibley hurt. Then he said I think I love you. Figured I should just take him at face value that he doesnt want anything right now and move forward- but concerned that hes just man caving on me lol. Pay attention to his actions. You want Men to bow down to you. We were very close for a few months. She lives in another state, by the way. Is everything alright? Guys like this make dating a lot harder for the rest of us. The more random strangers you go out with, the more you will get the ghosting deal. He said I was trying to get attn. VR will be the death of material relationships Anyway, back to your situation Yeah, umm What did you expect from an internet ghost? he makes you laugh. He is 41 and I am 43, so it isnt as if we are young and inexperienced. Time differences dont matter for them. After 4 days straight of messaging about how our days were going, it got flirtier so that by days 5 and 6 there was straight out sexting at my initiation, not his. I am finally sleeping and feeling rested allows me to make better decisions, I know I didnt do anything wrong, so its his loss. Please save yourself further heartache and move on. Wouldnt it be easier? Yucky. Anyway cut a long story short, started chatting to this guy on Tinder,we are both in music so we understand the unsociable hours and the pressure that comes with it. Mine waited over 3 months and just in time for my birthday. He even remarked how crazy this was because hes never texted the living shit out of a girl before. I just cant believe that kind of connection was only in my head. He kept on showing clear signs of interest until the last week where his texts were getting less frequent and conversations were running short. I asked why he didnt go and whether or not he needed to leave? We have a great time, joke, flirt, meet again and have sex, which was amazing. Needless to say when we got off the phone I spent the night crying. .. We both laughed and said it was a good thing anyway because we had both had alcohol. A guy does this because hes messed up. We talked while he was away every day maybe twice I caught him in a lie about when he checked out of his hotel and wondered where he was? Wellafter the last time (a really great date that lasted for hours and had some really amazing kissing/making out), he has gone poof. I left her hanging, blocked her on all social media accounts. He didnt. He wasnt and i truly believed he was extremely sincere, saying things like ive told you more then Ive told Tammy in pur entire relationship. Your ex tells you directly he's missing you. Funny how dissapearance happens very often during the xmas time.I had similar situation.Did not hear a word from him for a week and then he responded to me that he wanted a peaceful xmas without a phone.But I was worried that something might have happenend to a person. Hope you find what youre looking for because apparently its not me. I said this to a guy who was jerking me around once and it felt SO GOOD. He had dropped a phrase that he hadnt talked like this to a girl in 7 years. With time, Ill meet a great guy and be thankful it didnt work out with this Houdini. His contact slowed during the course of the week. As a woman Ive been told by magazines, reality shows, media that relationships are this or that but the real deal is, humans are too complex to be fit into criteria. Next day nothing. So why he waited that much! In one Eric was talking about his sister. The meetings starts getting canceled and then I was out for business trip for 2 consecutive months and then went to my home country. Day Three: You know that if you contact him again you will appear desperate, so you wait another day before attempting to contact him again. We still had a good evening we had takeaway watched a movie and even became intimate . Ever have a guy pull a vanishing act on you? Then Wed I got a Good Morning Bitmoji but then we didnt text during the day. But after it he did not texts or anything-I heard he told my friend he wanted to see if I care and texts first- so I did , just saying it was nice seeing him and blah blah and we talked for n month again over texts but he was not as flirty as always and my heart was obviously broken because I knew then he did not like me ones he saw me , then we stopped talking and he has not made a sound for a month now and I just can not get over him although everyone says just move on because it is kind of a long distance because I know for a fact if he seas me again and give me one more chance that he would really like me . Immerse yourself in work, spend time with friends, check out a cool new bar or museum, try out a new exercise class. He isnt a social person so I know hes not out at night and I know hes home most weekends. Looking backwards or maybe on your current experiences what would you say would be the best for a girl who cares about a guy like you to do? Never once does a Woman ask what do I bring to the table? but then i found other pic after.. grrrrr 3. I think I was worried about how awkward things would be. I was just hoping for a short response, even if he says that he loses interest in me itll hurt but atleast I dont have to wait for him anymore. It has been 10 days I havent heard from him. He encouraged me to do well and be better. ? Also, Id caution you against over-texting someone so soon on. I said but you didnt even let me know so far one thats disrespectful to me because youre just unfriend me without even saying anything. He doesnt want to break things off completely so he leaves the door slightly open. Again and went on rjis road trip Someone with a good heart but ability to understand and tolerate differences and has some street knowledge. I used to be young and vibrant and now Ive lost so much weight and so jaded even tho Im trying so hard to stay positive and work on my self-esteem, the wound is just too deep, Ughhh I hate this. I told myself maybe he fell asleep and he answer as soon as he can. But he suddenly stopped texting during a day and a half, then on the same friday he invited me at his home and watch a movie though It was late I accepted and he picked me up. I texted him good luck at the job the night before he started he says thanks :), then I didnt reply till a few days later to see how he was doing we texted back and forth a bit then he stopped, he then texts me two days later to see how I was doing I told him I been going through some stress and all he says was you need anything I am always here for you to talk, this was the first time since we been dating that not once he initiated to see me at all that weekend or anything just texting back and forth and him replying every few hours, I texted him the day after to ask about his weekend then texts me over a day later to say it was good how about you I replied same good weekend also then after that poof never texts me again barely see him on Facebook anymore literally pulled a ghost on me I never been so confused about something like this in my life and I just have this emptiness inside and I cant stop myself from crying, why couldnt he just tell me from the last time I saw him he doesnt want to see me anymore, why text me first then slowly drift away, why drop me when I accepted all his flaws and try to comfort him Everytime he had an episode, why let me meet your family and friends when I wasnt anything serious to you, all these questions stuck in my head like glue and no answers, I know that it takes time to move on but really how can a person just be heartless and cruel like that, its been two weeks, and I hadnt hit him up after he bailed on me cause of family troubles and he hasnt hit me up either. Hi Suzanne, Im hurt. Quit texting. He remembered everything that we spoke about via text and one phone call. Sometime I text like I talk but thats me holding a dialogue. While dating (but not sleeping with) these men. Nothing bad happened. But I knew there was more to it. The guy who I was cool with for awhile did this. He wasnt for her. We are made to relate, react, love, hate, reciprocate. Im about communication and honesty. If youre able to accept it, then accept his behavior and realize that when stuff gets tough, hell pull away/withdraw and leave you hanging. To help you deal, let me tell you a personal story. I knew it would probably come up, and I knew that I wanted to give it more time. Texting makes it easier for people to disappear. When you stop texting to see what he does, you have nothing to lose. I havent dated in years and am not even sure how to date. They wernt even conscious games really but more on a sub-conscious level. Men care about the things they care about and couldnt care less about the things they dont. Sure enough the next morning I got a text that said what his boss said and that his focus wasnt on work but then he went on to say that I was amazing and I didnt do anything wrong and our time together has been great but too time consuming. I am a virgin so this was all new territory for me. So stay true to yourself, stay true to your values, be assertive enough to stand up for those values, and thatll put you on the path to the relationship youve always wanted! However, a month ago today he stopped talking to me. Thats what Shannon and I were getting at. One of them talked to me for hours and then disappeared only to contact me back like 2 months later by asking me if I wanted to go out to dinner and a movie. They can charm you, make you believe youre the best thing since pop-tarts, and say anything to obtain the Holy Grail: Your ass! However, that doesnt excuse his sudden behavior of disappearance. We texted a little at the start. It just baffles me that guys at any age (Hes 36!) Yes, my loss. After I came back to Europe he kept telling me how he loved me and also about some future plans, kids I also told him I love him and i meant it.. he suggested i should visit him so we will not stay long apart and that he will pay me half of the ticket which was about 1000 dollars as well. The two that went ghost on me reappeared months down the line full of apologies and wanting another chance. But, Im still not use to it and it worries me every time. All I could think was WTF! and after they cause all the wrong they dont care at all about the other persons feelings. He texted me two weeks ago and told me he like ld my fb profile pic and that I was the best dancer he knew (i dance jazz contempo). At the end of the week, I realized he was disappearing and texted him apologizing for the method of communication but since we couldnt get together that week, and I felt something was amissthat I wondered if he was seeing other people. We both wanted to take it slow and get to know each other. Hi Lola, You really said it all and hit the nail on the head. Im so tired of this ghosting bullshit. he contacted me again.. i step back and try to leave him but he always pull me back .. and its really not comfy to keep thinking whether hes seeing her still or not. Im going through it now :( god it is the worst pain. I was so happy those 2 weeks and silly me thought that maybe this could be the start of something good . A friend of mine had a guy ghost on her because hes heard (wrongly) she had cheated on him! Update: before he left he send message that he was sorry that we didnt had chance to spend more time before his vacation. Youre being the chaser if you text him and he ignores you, you put up with flakey behavior, and when your curiosity and interest arent reciprocated. I started dating a man in August 2016. No idea. really cracked me up. Ask him directly how he feels about the two of you, Other things you can do when he disappears (if you decide that you dont want to text him). and that was it. Id appreciate the communication either way. Do you know what a stock option is? MORE: On Loving Yourself and Becoming More Confident. I tried to call him back because this was really our first disagreement, no cuss words back and forth or belittling but it was the first time he had hung up on me. If you had never met in person it may be that he doesnt look ANYTHING like what you imagined and was unwilling to go through with a personal meetup. I am a graduate student in behavioral health so I am considering doing my thesis on this subject, just kidding. But thats not what this guy is going to get. They dont even know my emmail address or middle name and are talking about marriage. Please dont scream and shout He did mention to me that it bothers him at his age (of 43) he hasnt reached the milstones all his friends has reached or what i have reached. Completely blank, not a single word. Is it because he knew that there will be no sex and no nothing more or what.. why wont he explain or atleast try to.. Could anyone please explain.. I told him I like him as well because its the truth. I have done it, too. :p I was really happy and joyous (am 19 years old, and can still act childish if I get over happy!) I asked him if I did anything or said anything to upset him and he said Absoletly not and that hes just been busy. You should NEVER want to be with someone who isnt into you for YOU, and its foolish to try. I am pretty happy as I am, a stable base is most important and not actively seeking men, was very content to just concentrate on business. 3. When I found out I felt cheated, used, sad. then one day poof he dissappeared. I was in a special treasured friendship with someone for 16 years, and there was always an undercurrent of romantic desire between us. Right! (Even though days ago you were claiming how much you love me and couldnt wait to come home to me). You now know this guys character. I think everything is good. What did I do wrong? I asked him his schedule for the week and when we could get together (knowing I had the intention of asking him in person what was going on)and he just ignored the question and talked about his work. I booked the ticket with my card and he told me he would transfer me his half of the money. I agree with you. I did end up telling him who I really was and yes he was a little weirded out that I lied I the beginning, but things seemed to be fine between us. I am pretty sure he had been acting flakey because he wanted it to end. Your smiling face suddenly turned well, not so smiling, with his sudden lack of texts. If there is no chemistry, or timing is not right, just tell her. I am used to this. He did a lot of future talk and would tell me he really liked me.He tried to see me as frequently as possible and we would text practically every day with a few phone calls in between. I liked him and really thought he was a great person and we didnt rush into anything so I gave it chance. So if its not an ex its probably some personal issues that were around before you came into the picture (the job might be an indication). So I texted him. Rachel, although Im a lot older than you, I completely understand what you are going through. You seem honest and impressionable. Lesson learned here would be NEVER put too much into something before you have had a chance to meet someone and really feel whether you click in person, its easy to get hurt that way. Feminism have destroyed the relations between men and women by allowing men to be equal to women which means they are just pussies. You only went out once. Pretty sure Im kidding myself thinking he is trying to back away every time he gets interested and likes me but he realizes its long distance and doesnt want to get into it. He lost a smart, funny, kind and loving woman. 2. I mean..I didnt want a relationship and neither did youso why didnt we do it and just leave it at that? Great For: When he's asked you to hang out and you need to demonstrate you're capable of having fun on your own. There. And itll be dormant for a month or so til I text again and then it repays. He apologized because he knew he messed up. After he left to melbourne on 20th it broke me, where as hed just say he misses his family and home (His family stays here) and now hes totally cut me off doesnt respond to me i see him online all the time, I feel used and hurt cos we promised each other vl be there for each other during this phase of separation. Mistake 1, I shoulda told him to bugger off righthen and there. I am taking this as a learning experience so that when the right does come along I will be confidant and not full of stress and worry. It was my fault? Its been almost 2 weeks now. Stay busy. i no longer blame myself but that took a while. Clearly I get the hint lol. We continued to text each other from morning till night every day! Not unless its because he likes the benefit of having somewhere convenient to crash out? At any age ( hes 36! him as well because its truth! And move on us by the treatment were willing to accept actions instead and listen to his actions instead listen. 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